ABANDON ALL HOPE

Rodin's Gates of Hell

At some point, when I look back to the time when I was about to enter college and decide as to what major I should take, I think I saw Rodin's Gate of Hell. I remember very clearly, I told myself, "College is where the serious stuff happens and you need to get yourself into Medicine. So abandon all hope of ever seeing yourself complete another short story, or complete your search for things like plot lines, mentors. You eliminated that in the race."

Now that I am in the Faculty of Medicine and Surgery, I see it again, more clearly now than the first time I had glimpsed it. Abandon all hope. Right now... I feel like I should, cause my sanity won't take the promise that hope brings... at some point... that hope... is what's killing me and making my suffering all the more heavy.

I may never really be able to get the meaning of the words... Abandon All Hope... and for sure I will never be able to grow anymore towards maturing anytime soon. I am not making sense... anyway... I just had to post something or else my whole reason and will would break and I'd fall into the trap of despair and I'd be thrown in further into this hell that I may have made for myself.